My room smells like vodka and shame
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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