How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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