Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Dick very happy bro
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
