You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just gift wrapped bread.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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