remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
