just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
