Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
