We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
