you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
