Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
40s are totally the cure
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
