So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
