I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
