it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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