Betty ford says i'm here all night
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We need a shit load of segways right now
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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