I puked a lego.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
this hospital has no fireball
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
