used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
