if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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