Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
