somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
