Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I will be naked everywhere
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
