it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
