my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
