yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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