he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
