Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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