Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
