I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
