Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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