cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
