well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
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