I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
