my soul wont recognize me after tonight
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
