Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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