Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
