the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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