UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
