You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
