We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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