i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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