They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
