White coat. Heels.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
