Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
