No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
