He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
