Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
