Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
DRUNK COOKIES
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