I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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