i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
