Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
