You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
