Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
