i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
